Homophone Headaches I

Homophone Headaches I:

Okay...

So we all know that there is no such thing as a perfect language--yes? Yes. We also know that English is quite a bit farther than a stone's throw away from being a perfect language --- in fact, English is so far from perfection that after transferring trains twice, it would still have to call a cab to get there.

One of the most irritating "imperfections" of English has to be its homophones---words that sound exactly the same, but have different spellings and meanings (homo--same; phone--sound). Homophones are very possibly the number one cause of writing mishaps for amateurs and professionals alike. Why? Because when proofreading one's work, the insidious homophone sounds like the right word--thus, it is incredibly easy to pass over a homophone without realizing that it isn't the word that you wanted.

So how do we battle these wicked, wicked homophones?

Awareness.

Awareness of homophones is the only thing we have that can save us from the minor (though often embarrassing) mistake of confusing homophones. When we realize that certain words are homophonous with others, we are able to take an extra half second when writing them to check that what we've written is what we meant.

And so, I present to you, a list of some of my least favorite (and most troubling) homophones. (If you're already on alert for any or all of the homophones listed below, then I give thee a pat on the back!)


There/Their/They're
These three alone accounted for nearly half of the homophone mistakes that I saw in my days as a writing tutor. Most everyone understands the differences between each of the three, but that understanding won't stop your brain from occasionally grabbing the wrong one.

There is a place, as in "go THERE." or "Dennis will be THERE." (Also used in the odd, but common, construction: "There is cake", meaning: "Cake exists" or "Cake is there."

Their is a possessive pronoun, used to express ownership: "THEIR cat is villainous" or "The villainous cat is THEIRs."

THEY'RE is a contraction of the words "they" and "are". The apostrophe stands for the missing letter 'a'.


Your/You're
Number two in the list of homophone headaches. The distinction here is the same as that between "their" and "They're": YOUR indications possession or ownership; You're is the smashing together of the words "you" and "are".

Lead/Led
Here's a vexxing homophone:
If you lead, then you are a leader--yes?
Well, if you used to be a leader, then you've LED.

Conversely, LEAD (pronounced 'LED') is a heavy metal that can be terribly toxic if eaten.


Thought/Thawed
This one is fun:
When you're consider only at the words, "Thought" and "Thawed" don't seem at all to be homophones. However, consider the following sentences.

"I thawed the fish--I thought it'd be a good idea."

Suddenly, when thrown into the middle of a sentence, the 't' at the end of THOUGHT becomes a 'd', and the word now sounds similar to thawed. The odds of biffing this homophone are low, but it's such fun that I thawed I would mention it anyway.

Hear/here
HERE is where you are this very, very moment.
HEAR is what you do with your ears.

Gesture/jester
A gesture is an act or a movement.
A jester is a Ye Olde Clowne.

Though these two are not exactly homophones, their sounds are very similar, and when once upon a time I tutored college writers, I often saw the words confused. Frequently, someone would "appreciate the jester of kindness"--and while I am certain that the clown was courteous, I think the word intended was gesture.


More to come!