Language, Letters, and Lunacy: The Thinklings of C.S. Lane

Paper Scissors Rock---Rock Paper Scissors---and the naming of things.

2011-01-03T08:35:00.002-06:00

Last night, my girlfriend informed me that when I call the game "Paper, Scissors, Rock", I am making a terrible error---that in fact, the game is properly titled "Rock, Paper, Scissors" and that no other improper permutation will do. In defiance, then, of contemporary convention, I wrote a small program to print out all 6 possible titles and I shall leave it to you to decide which is best! Personally, I like "Paper, Rock, Scissors".

{Paper, Scissors, Rock}

{Paper, Rock, Scissors}

{Scissors, Paper, Rock}

{Scissors, Rock, Paper}

{Rock, Paper, Scissors}

{Rock, Scissors, Paper}

Also, for those of you die hard eunomenclaturists out there, I wrote a second program to print out all 120 possible permutations of "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock". Enjoy. My favorite is "Spock, Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard". Two rhymes!

{{Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock},

{Rock, Paper, Scissors, Spock, Lizard},

{Rock, Paper, Lizard, Scissors, Spock},

{Rock, Paper, Lizard, Spock, Scissors},

{Rock, Paper, Spock, Scissors, Lizard},

{Rock, Paper, Spock, Lizard, Scissors},

{Rock, Scissors, Paper, Lizard, Spock},

{Rock, Scissors, Paper, Spock, Lizard},

{Rock, Scissors, Lizard, Paper, Spock},

{Rock, Scissors, Lizard, Spock, Paper},

{Rock, Scissors, Spock, Paper, Lizard},

{Rock, Scissors, Spock, Lizard, Paper},

{Rock, Lizard, Paper, Scissors, Spock},

{Rock, Lizard, Paper, Spock, Scissors},

{Rock, Lizard, Scissors, Paper, Spock},

{Rock, Lizard, Scissors, Spock, Paper},

{Rock, Lizard, Spock, Paper, Scissors},

{Rock, Lizard, Spock, Scissors, Paper},

{Rock, Spock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard},

{Rock, Spock, Paper, Lizard, Scissors},

{Rock, Spock, Scissors, Paper, Lizard},

{Rock, Spock, Scissors, Lizard, Paper},

{Rock, Spock, Lizard, Paper, Scissors},

{Rock, Spock, Lizard, Scissors, Paper},

{Paper, Rock, Scissors, Lizard, Spock},

{Paper, Rock, Scissors, Spock, Lizard},

{Paper, Rock, Lizard, Scissors, Spock},

{Paper, Rock, Lizard, Spock, Scissors},

{Paper, Rock, Spock, Scissors, Lizard},

{Paper, Rock, Spock, Lizard, Scissors},

{Paper, Scissors, Rock, Lizard, Spock},

{Paper, Scissors, Rock, Spock, Lizard},

{Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Rock, Spock},

{Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock, Rock},

{Paper, Scissors, Spock, Rock, Lizard},

{Paper, Scissors, Spock, Lizard, Rock},

{Paper, Lizard, Rock, Scissors, Spock},

{Paper, Lizard, Rock, Spock, Scissors},

{Paper, Lizard, Scissors, Rock, Spock},

{Paper, Lizard, Scissors, Spock, Rock},

{Paper, Lizard, Spock, Rock, Scissors},

{Paper, Lizard, Spock, Scissors, Rock},

{Paper, Spock, Rock, Scissors, Lizard},

{Paper, Spock, Rock, Lizard, Scissors},

{Paper, Spock, Scissors, Rock, Lizard},

{Paper, Spock, Scissors, Lizard, Rock},

{Paper, Spock, Lizard, Rock, Scissors},

{Paper, Spock, Lizard, Scissors, Rock},

{Scissors, Rock, Paper, Lizard, Spock},

{Scissors, Rock, Paper, Spock, Lizard},

{Scissors, Rock, Lizard, Paper, Spock},

{Scissors, Rock, Lizard, Spock, Paper},

{Scissors, Rock, Spock, Paper, Lizard},

{Scissors, Rock, Spock, Lizard, Paper},

{Scissors, Paper, Rock, Lizard, Spock},

{Scissors, Paper, Rock, Spock, Lizard},

{Scissors, Paper, Lizard, Rock, Spock},

{Scissors, Paper, Lizard, Spock, Rock},

{Scissors, Paper, Spock, Rock, Lizard},

{Scissors, Paper, Spock, Lizard, Rock},

{Scissors, Lizard, Rock, Paper, Spock},

{Scissors, Lizard, Rock, Spock, Paper},

{Scissors, Lizard, Paper, Rock, Spock},

{Scissors, Lizard, Paper, Spock, Rock},

{Scissors, Lizard, Spock, Rock, Paper},

{Scissors, Lizard, Spock, Paper, Rock},

{Scissors, Spock, Rock, Paper, Lizard},

{Scissors, Spock, Rock, Lizard, Paper},

{Scissors, Spock, Paper, Rock, Lizard},

{Scissors, Spock, Paper, Lizard, Rock},

{Scissors, Spock, Lizard, Rock, Paper},

{Scissors, Spock, Lizard, Paper, Rock},

{Lizard, Rock, Paper, Scissors, Spock},

{Lizard, Rock, Paper, Spock, Scissors},

{Lizard, Rock, Scissors, Paper, Spock},

{Lizard, Rock, Scissors, Spock, Paper},

{Lizard, Rock, Spock, Paper, Scissors},

{Lizard, Rock, Spock, Scissors, Paper},

{Lizard, Paper, Rock, Scissors, Spock},

{Lizard, Paper, Rock, Spock, Scissors},

{Lizard, Paper, Scissors, Rock, Spock},

{Lizard, Paper, Scissors, Spock, Rock},

{Lizard, Paper, Spock, Rock, Scissors},

{Lizard, Paper, Spock, Scissors, Rock},

{Lizard, Scissors, Rock, Paper, Spock},

{Lizard, Scissors, Rock, Spock, Paper},

{Lizard, Scissors, Paper, Rock, Spock},

{Lizard, Scissors, Paper, Spock, Rock},

{Lizard, Scissors, Spock, Rock, Paper},

{Lizard, Scissors, Spock, Paper, Rock},

{Lizard, Spock, Rock, Paper, Scissors},

{Lizard, Spock, Rock, Scissors, Paper},

{Lizard, Spock, Paper, Rock, Scissors},

{Lizard, Spock, Paper, Scissors, Rock},

{Lizard, Spock, Scissors, Rock, Paper},

{Lizard, Spock, Scissors, Paper, Rock},

{Spock, Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard},

{Spock, Rock, Paper, Lizard, Scissors},

{Spock, Rock, Scissors, Paper, Lizard},

{Spock, Rock, Scissors, Lizard, Paper},

{Spock, Rock, Lizard, Paper, Scissors},

{Spock, Rock, Lizard, Scissors, Paper},

{Spock, Paper, Rock, Scissors, Lizard},

{Spock, Paper, Rock, Lizard, Scissors},

{Spock, Paper, Scissors, Rock, Lizard},

{Spock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Rock},

{Spock, Paper, Lizard, Rock, Scissors},

{Spock, Paper, Lizard, Scissors, Rock},

{Spock, Scissors, Rock, Paper, Lizard},

{Spock, Scissors, Rock, Lizard, Paper},

{Spock, Scissors, Paper, Rock, Lizard},

{Spock, Scissors, Paper, Lizard, Rock},

{Spock, Scissors, Lizard, Rock, Paper},

{Spock, Scissors, Lizard, Paper, Rock},

{Spock, Lizard, Rock, Paper, Scissors},

{Spock, Lizard, Rock, Scissors, Paper},

{Spock, Lizard, Paper, Rock, Scissors},

{Spock, Lizard, Paper, Scissors, Rock},

{Spock, Lizard, Scissors, Rock, Paper},

{Spock, Lizard, Scissors, Paper, Rock}}

--Whew--

Of Seasons and Home

2009-12-08T09:53:00.002-06:00

Dearest friends, (or more likely: friend,)

I have been away from my blog too long--this I certainly know--and loathe though I am to proffer excuses, in this case, I have a good one: I have spent the past few months toiling in the salt mines of my imagination in hope that I might expedite the writing of my book. THE OTHERSIDE, draws nearer and nearer to completion. Indeed, the vast majority of the volume is ready for an editor's eye. I anticipate its completion come April of 2010.

For the present, however, I offer a silly little acoustic poem, written in matter of several minutes on a marvelous May afternoon. I call it: Of Seasons and Home.

Of Seasons and Home

Where spring will bring a bird to sing and warm a withered wood,
Where summer's breeze sends news of seas, but only when it's good,
Where autumn always enters late and winter exits soon,
Where hope is always higher held than any air baloon,
Where every mind will freely find encouragement to roam,
On life, I swear, till I've no air--
That place will be my home.

Prefix of the Day: NEO-

2009-06-29T10:56:00.002-05:00

Prefix of the day:

-NEO

From Greek, meaning "new".

NEOnatal: pertaining to newborns.

NEOn: new element (at least it used to be new...)

NEOlithic: pertaining to the new Stone Age.

NEOplasm: new formation of cells, esp. a tumor.

NEOdymium: Chemical element 60, whose name means "new twin"--the other twin is praseodymium.

Mnemonic:
Keanu Reeves returns as NEO in the Matrix XIX: Newer Numbers.

Grammatical Goblins: LAY vs LIE

2009-06-24T10:32:00.003-05:00

Okay...so I'm going to begin this post with an enormous groan and a wag of my finger at the wicked, wicked folks responsible for the LAY vs. LIE fiasco, which has to be one of the most wretchedly confusing idiosyncrasies in the whole of the English language--and as we all know, that is saying an awful, awful lot.

So what's the problem? The problem is this: both words are three letters long and both begin with an 'L'. Additionally, the definitions of the words are rather similar and both involve something being set down. Confusing, yes? Well here's the kicker...: The past tense of "lie" is "lay".

This is nothing short of villainous.

So here is a quick rundown of each of these evil words:

Lay:
To set down an object;

Present Tense--- Past Tense --- Past Participle
-----Lay -----------Laid ------------Laid

(Present): "Lay the book on the table, Dennis."
(Past): "A minute ago, Dennis laid the book on the table."
(Past Participle): "I had laid down a book as well."

The lowdown: The verb "LAY" is very similar to the verbs "set" and "place".
"Lay the book on the table."
"Set the book on the table."
"Place the book on the table."

Essentially, these all mean the same thing.

Lie:
to recline---"Lie" is what you do when you go to sleep--unless you sleep standing up (or sitting).

Present Tense--- Past Tense --- Past Participle
-----Lie -----------Lay ------------Lain

The confusing bit comes in here, because the past tense of "Lie" is "Lay".
(Present): "I'm tired--I need to lie down."
(Past): "I lay down four hours ago, and I still haven't gotten up!"
(Past Participle): "Until this morning, I had lain in bed for a month."

Cheers

C.S.

Prefix of the Day: CON-/COM-

2009-06-23T10:57:00.002-05:00

Prefix of the Day:

CON-/COM-

From Latin meaning "Together" or "With"

CONcave: with a cavity.

COMpatriots: Folks from the same country (lit. Countrymen together).

CONvene: Come together.

CONgenital: of a Disease that is present at birth, such as congential heart defects (CON-: with; GEN: origin/creation).

Closing Note: The CON- that appears here is different than con (as in "pros and cons"). That kind of con comes from the prefix contra-, meaning "against"--so while Pros are good and definitely in your best interest, cons (as in contras) are bad and against your best interest.

Root of the Day: MORPH

2009-06-22T18:17:00.002-05:00

Root of the Day

MORPH-

Greek: Shape

MetaMORPHosis: process of changing shape

isoMORPH: same shape

MORPHology: lit. the study of shapes; in application: the study of forms and structure without considering function.

In addition, the three principle body shapes all include the Greek root MORPH:
EndoMORPH: Inner shape
MesoMORPH: Middle shape
EctoMORPH: Outer shape

These words come from the directional facing of joints: e.g. the shoulders of an ectoMORPH (outer shape) will point back and out, while the shoulders of an endoMORPH (inner shape) will hunch inward towards the body.

Prefix of the Day: MAL-

2009-06-18T14:34:00.003-05:00

Prefix of the day:

MAL-

From Latin, meaning "Bad".

Note: You can only be certain that MAL means "bad" when it is used as a prefix at the beginning of a word. The reason for this is that many Latin based adjectives and nouns end with the suffix -AL, which means "pertaining to" while many other Latin based roots end with the letter 'm'. Take, for example, the word "animal". Here, we see the letters 'm','a','l', but this is not the prefix mal---it is the coming together of the root "ANIM-" with the Latin suffix "-AL".

Examples:

MALadjusted: Badly adjusted

MALevolent: Wishing ill on others (lit. bad desires)

MALice: Badness; wickedness; evil.

MALfeasance: the breaking of a law by an elected official or an otherwise trusted servant of the public (lit. bad law).

Mnemonic:
You want a mnemonic for MAL-?
Too bad--you do not get one.

Homophone Headaches I

2009-06-17T10:09:00.002-05:00

Homophone Headaches I:

Okay...

So we all know that there is no such thing as a perfect language--yes? Yes. We also know that English is quite a bit farther than a stone's throw away from being a perfect language --- in fact, English is so far from perfection that after transferring trains twice, it would still have to call a cab to get there.

One of the most irritating "imperfections" of English has to be its homophones---words that sound exactly the same, but have different spellings and meanings (homo--same; phone--sound). Homophones are very possibly the number one cause of writing mishaps for amateurs and professionals alike. Why? Because when proofreading one's work, the insidious homophone sounds like the right word--thus, it is incredibly easy to pass over a homophone without realizing that it isn't the word that you wanted.

So how do we battle these wicked, wicked homophones?

Awareness.

Awareness of homophones is the only thing we have that can save us from the minor (though often embarrassing) mistake of confusing homophones. When we realize that certain words are homophonous with others, we are able to take an extra half second when writing them to check that what we've written is what we meant.

And so, I present to you, a list of some of my least favorite (and most troubling) homophones. (If you're already on alert for any or all of the homophones listed below, then I give thee a pat on the back!)

There/Their/They're
These three alone accounted for nearly half of the homophone mistakes that I saw in my days as a writing tutor. Most everyone understands the differences between each of the three, but that understanding won't stop your brain from occasionally grabbing the wrong one.

There is a place, as in "go THERE." or "Dennis will be THERE." (Also used in the odd, but common, construction: "There is cake", meaning: "Cake exists" or "Cake is there."

Their is a possessive pronoun, used to express ownership: "THEIR cat is villainous" or "The villainous cat is THEIRs."

THEY'RE is a contraction of the words "they" and "are". The apostrophe stands for the missing letter 'a'.

Your/You're
Number two in the list of homophone headaches. The distinction here is the same as that between "their" and "They're": YOUR indications possession or ownership; You're is the smashing together of the words "you" and "are".

Lead/Led
Here's a vexxing homophone:
If you lead, then you are a leader--yes?
Well, if you used to be a leader, then you've LED.

Conversely, LEAD (pronounced 'LED') is a heavy metal that can be terribly toxic if eaten.

Thought/Thawed
This one is fun:
When you're consider only at the words, "Thought" and "Thawed" don't seem at all to be homophones. However, consider the following sentences.

"I thawed the fish--I thought it'd be a good idea."

Suddenly, when thrown into the middle of a sentence, the 't' at the end of THOUGHT becomes a 'd', and the word now sounds similar to thawed. The odds of biffing this homophone are low, but it's such fun that I thawed I would mention it anyway.

Hear/here
HERE is where you are this very, very moment.
HEAR is what you do with your ears.

Gesture/jester
A gesture is an act or a movement.
A jester is a Ye Olde Clowne.

Though these two are not exactly homophones, their sounds are very similar, and when once upon a time I tutored college writers, I often saw the words confused. Frequently, someone would "appreciate the jester of kindness"--and while I am certain that the clown was courteous, I think the word intended was gesture.

More to come!

Prefix/Root of the day: HELI-/HELIO-

2009-06-17T09:44:00.003-05:00

Prefix/Root of the day:

HELI-/HELIO-

From Greek, meaning "Sun".

HELIum: The element of the Sun (having been first discovered in the atmosphere of the Sun).

HELIOcentric: regarding the Sun as the center of the solar system/universe (as contrasts with geocentric: regarding the Earth as the center of the solar system/universe).

HELIOlithic: Pertaining to a civilization that is characterized by Sun worship and megaliths (giant stones).

HELIOtherapy: The use of sunlight to treat disease.

Mnemonic:
Good-bye, Moon--HELIO, Sun.

Suffix of the Day: -CIDE

2009-06-15T10:57:00.004-05:00

Suffix of the day:

-CIDE

From Latin, meaning "Killer".

HomiCIDE: The killing of a human.

PatriCIDE: The Killing of one's father.

FratriCIDE: The Killing of one's brother.

SuiCIDE: The killing of one's self.

RegiCIDE: The killing of a king.

Mnemonic:
Some actors would kill for an ICIDE (aside).

Prefix of the Day: GEO-

2009-06-12T11:39:00.002-05:00

Prefix of the day:

GEO-

From Greek, meaning "Earth".

GEOlogy: Study of Earth.

GEOmetry: Measure of Earth.

GEOphagy: Eating of earth (of dirt and clay, etc.)

GEOsynchronous: Moving in an orbit equal to the Earth's period of rotation.

GEOstrophic: Depending upon the turning of the Earth.

Mnemonic:
Gee-oh, Geo, Gee! The Earth rocks!

Advice for the Advanced: Obscenities vs. Expletives

2009-06-10T12:52:00.005-05:00

Advice for the Advanced:
Obscenities vs. Expletives

Obscenities (curse words) and expletives---interchangeable, right?

Well...sort of.

The word "expletive" is one of those words that have been abused and misused so very, very frequently that they have adopted a "false" definition.

Linguistically speaking, an expletive is a word that contributes essentially no meaning to the sentence that contains it---what it does contribute is rhythm. Expletives are used to fill out both the meter of verse and the cadence of prose. This definition is readily readable in the word's etymology:

Expletive
Ex --> out;
Plet--> fill;

Thus an expletive is that which "fills out".

Frequently (in fact, much more frequently than any other sort of word), obscenities are used as expletives to fill out a line or add emphasis. For the purpose of illustration, pretend with me for a moment that the nonsense word "vahg" (which, to me, rhymes with "jog") is obscene.

Consider the following sentences:

-I can't find it.
-I can't vahging find it.

Here, the obscenity "vahging" has been added to the first sentence to fill out the cadence and add emphasis to the verb "to find." The obscenity is used as an expletive, and the expletive is obscene.

Consider now the following nasty, nasty retort:

-Sven is a piece of vagh.

Here, if we're still pretending that "vagh" is a curse word, we have an obscenity that is not being used as an expletive--it is simply being used as a noun (as part of a prepositional phrase).

Consider, now, the following:

-I do have one.
-I do, however, have one.

Here, the expletive is "however". The word "however" adds no meaning whatsoever to the sentence, but it does change the sentence's cadence, which also changes its nuance.

While the first sentence is read:
-I do have one.

The second is read:
-I do, however, have one.

Here, "however" is plainly an expletive, but it is certainly not an obscenity (unless, of course, you are in the habit of telling folks to "shut the however up").

Thus, expletives are not by nature obscene.

In summary:

-Though obscenities can be used as expletives, not every obscenity is an expletive.
-Though expletives can be obscene, not every expletive is.

Thus, it is not technically correct to say that expletives and obscenities are one and the same thing. More accurately, they are two circles in the same Venn diagram: Sometimes they overlap---Most of the time, they don't.

HOWEVER--language is ever protean, so of course, it always changes. Many dictionaries and thesauruses now consider obscenities and expletives to be utterly interchangeable.

There are two (general) schools of thought on language as relates to definition. The first claims that common usage of a word is the truest definition of that word---the second claims that only etymology can determine what a word actually means. This is why I wrote that expletives and obseneties are "sort of" interchangeable. If you ascribe to the Common Usage model, then to you, the words may be used interchangeably. If you prefer (as I do) to follow etymology, then you will likely find obsenities and expletives far too different to be synonyms.

Peace and prose be with you--and may you have a wonderful day.

Prefix of the Day: ULTRA-

2009-06-10T12:23:00.002-05:00

Prefix of the day:

ULTRA-

From Latin, meaning "beyond".

A slight clarification might here be warranted: Thanks to the omnipresence of catch-phrase marketing, poor little ULTRA- has become quite the misunderstood morpheme. So many products are dubbed "ULTRA-Sweeper" or "Super-duper-ULTRA-magic-Coffee-Machine" that ULTRA- is now understood to mean "amazing", "awesome", or "the bestest". I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not you'll use ULTRA- as millions of marketers do, but know that etymologically, the word actually means beyond.

ULTRAviolet: beyond violet; the region of the electromagnetic spectrum that is of higher frequency than violet light.

ULTRAsonic: sound waves that are outside of (or beyond) the range of human hearing.

ULTRAmontane: beyond the mountains.

Mnemonic:
A mnemonic for ultra-? Well that's beyond me.

Prefix of the Day: PAN-

2009-06-09T11:58:00.003-05:00

Prefix of the day:

PAN-

From Greek, meaning "all".

PANdemonium: a scene of utter confusion and chaos. Litterally: the place of all demons.

PANdemic: disease affecting all people.

PANoptic: all seeing.

Mnemonic:
Zoom out: I want to see all of the PANda.

Prefix of the Day: ACU-

2009-06-08T13:48:00.002-05:00

Prefix of the day:

ACU-

From Latin "acus" meaning needle. We use ACU- most frequently to mean "sharp"--like a needle.

ACUte: sharp or intense--like ACUte pain or ACUte angles: ACUte angles are sharp angles (as contrasted with obtuse angles, which are dull)

ACUity: sharpness--either of senses or objects.

ACUtance: a measure of the sharpness (clarity) of a photograph.

ACUmen: keen insight or discernment; sharpness of mind.

Mnemonic:
A porcupine has a sharp bACU know (back, you know).

A Poem

2009-06-08T12:47:00.000-05:00

Of Seasons and Home

Where Spring will bring a bird to sing
and warm a withered wood--

Where Summer's breeze sends news of seas,
but only when it's good--

Where Autumn always enters late and
Winter exits soon--

Where hopes are always higher held
than any air balloon--

Where every mind will freely find
encouragement to roam--
On life, I swear: Till I've no air,
That place will be my home.

C. S. Lane
June 2009